Courtesy of the site, You Are Truly Loved.
1) The World is an Illusion
Get your elbows off the table!
My elbows don’t exist. Neither does the table! It’s all an illusion.
2) All Realities Exist Now
Get your elbows off the table!
That’s just one reality. Another reality where my elbows are off the table is ultimately just as real as this one.
3) Advaita
Why are you being such a jerk?
Who is asking the question?
4) Go Meditate
You’re being a jerk.
Meditate. You’ll see it doesn’t matter for your true nature as awareness has no preference.
5) The World is your Mirror
Quit being such a jerk!
Does it bother you? What part of yourself is being reflected back to you?
6) Non-judgment
You’re a jerk!
That’s just a judgment. It’s only your ego’s perspective. Quit judging me.
7) Projection
You are a total jerk!
I am neutral. You are projecting your own beliefs onto me and thus think that I’m a jerk.
8) Mistaken Identity
You are a jerk!
A person is not their behaviors.
9) Presence
Why were you being such a jerk?
That was 5 minutes ago. Be in the Now, man!
10) Slap Happy 
Stop being a jerk!
Just turn the other cheek.
11) Law of Attraction
You’re such a jerk!
Why did you attract this experience into your reality?
12) What You Focus On Expands
You’re being a jerk!
By thinking about it and placing your attention on me, you’re continuing to create this reality. Think happy thoughts!
13) Karma
Why are you being such a jerk?
Probably because you were once a jerk to someone else and what goes around comes around.
14) Reincarnation 
You’re such a jerk!
I’ll bet you were a jerk in your past life. How does it feel to be on the receiving end?
15) Imperfection Doesn’t Exist
You’re a jerk!
Why bother changing anything? Everything is perfect as it is. Existence is.
16) Control
Quit being a jerk!
You’re not in control of your reality. Surrender to God!
17) The Bracelet Salesman
You’re such a jerk!
WWJD?
18) The Mind Can’t Know Truth
Sir, do you know how fast you were going?
No officer, I don’t know anything.
19) Love Thyself
Johnny! Stop masturbating!
But my teacher told me to love myself!
20) Silence is Golden
You’re such a jerk!
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Bonus: We Are All One
You’re such a jerk!
Well, since we are all one, so are you!
Video of The Day: Law of Attraction: Why Did My Relationship Turn Into A Nightmare?
